Sunday, May 13, 2012

What I Learned From My Mom


In honor of all the moms out there, but especially my mom, here’s my list of SOME of the many things I’ve learned from her.

The joy of reading. She loved children’s books and literature and shared that love with us. She read with us nightly and gleefully added to our library with each new advance in reading ability and maturity. I clearly remember how excited she was the year she decided I was old enough to read The Catcher in the Rye. As the time draws near for Noah and me, I share her excitement.

Independence and fearlessness. Thanks in part to the era of The Equal Rights Amendment, my mom was determined that I would grow to be a self-confident, independent woman.  Perhaps she and others who know me wish I’d received a smaller dose of determination and forthrightness, but I’m confident that the boogie man doesn’t want to meet up with me in a dark alley.

Compassion for those less fortunate and a desire to fight for justice. During the Civil Rights Movement, she spoke out and protested against segregation. When the T.V. news showed the plight of Vietnamese war refugees in the 70s and 80s, she cried and with my father helped a community to organize to bring the Ha family to our town. I see that compassion and search for justice passing on to my own children; with Noah who argued with school friends about Amendment One and Ben who told me I wasn’t being nice when I made fun of someone.

What marriage is…and isn’t. My parents have had many joyous years together, but it hasn’t always been easy. I learned from her that the day-in and day-out getting along and living together is as important as the passion. And that love changes with time. It ebbs and flows. It’s not always easy but  it’s worth the effort. The ability to forgive is essential to a happy and enduring relationship.

The importance of intentional parenting. In her day, Dr. Spock was all the rage. She read his book, listened to other mothers she admired and took what felt right to her to form her own parenting style. She was (intentionally) lenient and indulged us in many ways but was firm and consistent when it came to what food we ate, time we went to bed and how much T.V. we watched. My parenting style may be slightly different from hers but I have followed her lead when it comes to food, bedtime and T.V. and I’ve definitely learned from her that being a good parent is difficult but worth all the effort.

I’m grateful to my mom for all that she’s taught me. I hope that I can do the same for my children.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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